Somtimes

Sometimes I don't think that I adequately express myself in my blog posts.  I don't think any one is actually reading this anyway so it's mostly just my random ramblings... Sometimes I don't have much to say.  I'm not tracking any tangible goals, I'm just tracking the progress in my quest into a healthier lifestyle.  I'm not dieting by any means.  I really, really enjoy my food and, while I have at times struggled with my eating habits, I don't want to deny myself a single tasty bite.  Like, last night Eron made Spaghetti alla Carbonara there was nothing healthy about it, well, we did use whole wheat pasta but we didn't bother to cook a vegetable.  So let me be very clear - I'm not in this to track weight loss, in fact I don't plan on stepping on a scale unless it's at my doctor's office.  I will let you (who ever you are) know when I get excited about putting on a pair of pants that I haven't worn in a year.  My ultimate goal is to feel good in my skin.  Always.

So, I just realized that I'm okay with calling myself a runner.  You see, other times when I tried to lace up my running shoes I'd end up walking more than running and I'd be embarrassed to say that I was running because in reality, I wasn't.  When I said I was more of a walker I got guff about being lame - uh, not cool btw.  We all have to go at our own pace and at least I was getting out there.  I digress...  At any rate, I get to call myself a runner.  I know I'm not racking up the mileage but I am making an effort to get out there.   Seriously, yesterday was a crappy day for a run.  When I got home the sun was already fading quickly and there was a slight drizzle on top of the dropping temperatures.  Super gross. But I had it in my head that I had to get out there and not make excuses.  As I was heading out the rain picked up, but I was already outside... on the driveway... just a couple yards from the door that I just walked out of...  Too late to turn back.  I pouted a little, sucked it up and decided that it would be a good test to my dedication.

It's not like I'm totally racking up the miles, but I like to think that I'm thinking more like a runner, and well, running WAY more than walking during my runs.  My goal each and every time out is not walk and not get down on myself when I decide I need a walk break.  Obviously when I first started I was lax with my walk breaks, I wanted to be sure I was giving my legs ample time to get used to what I was asking. 

Last night on my run I was struggling around what I thought was the 1 mile mark and I was contemplating a walk break, but at that point I was met with a hill.  Crap.  I don't walk hills so I powered through and actually finished feeling strong.  I give myself mental pep talks, things that I think are silly... a "get it gurl" or a "you can do iiit" said in a Rob Schneider tone, and then there are the motivational ones - "I don't do it because it's easy, I do it because it'll get easier" or a "You're rockin' it!"  Hey, I run by myself and sometimes I need that little encouragement.  I'm my own cheering section. 

Tonight for dinner - Shrimp tacos.  Mmmm... can't wait.